Anxiety Aunt: Help! My partner’s spending is putting a strain on our relationship

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Dear Aunty,

My partner is terrible with money and now that we have a joint mortgage but not a joint bank account, it is putting enormous strain on our relationship. She often can’t afford to pay her share of the mortgage and I end up putting in more to make up for it. Also, at least once or twice a month she will tell me that she is out of money and asks me to transfer her funds for various things. Meanwhile she is forever shopping and wearing new clothes and splashing out on makeup and expensive beauty treatments. I have suggested a joint account but to be honest I am not sure that would help because then she would likely over-spend her own money and mine as well. I thought we were soul mates and meant to be together but now I am having second thoughts because I don’t want to work my whole life and never get ahead because she spends more than we make.

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